Of Things That Matter Most

(Warning: Long and very contemplative post.)

As long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I have been very blessed to have four amazing children who came to us very easily. I have enjoyed being a mom. I have seen hard days, discouraging days, depressing days, and days full of heart-ache. But the good definitely outweighs the bad. Being a mom is the most rewarding thing I have done in my life. I'm not talking about the laundry, dirty diapers, snotty noses, or looks-like-a-tornado-just-came-through-here messes.

I mean those moments when my three-year-old randomly tells me that she loves me. Or my eight-year-old says he wants me to go on a field trip with him because I need a break from working so hard. Or my twelve-year-old decides to pick-up and vacuum the entire house so I don't have to do it. Or my fourteen-year-old stands up for his values even when it isn't the popular thing to do.

Lately though, I have felt completely overwhelmed. Like I don't know what I'm doing. Like I'm not doing enough to prepare my kids to take on what the world throws at them. Like I'm focusing way too much on the day to day grind and not enough on my relationship with my kids and showing them how much they mean to me.

One of my kids told me recently that they think about what life would be like without them. How much better everything would be if they weren't here. It made me feel awful. Like I am the worst mother in the world. It made me realize that I am not doing enough to make this child feel loved and cherished.

Then, as I was talking on the phone with my dad, he reminded me of President Uchtdorf's talk in the last General Conference. He told me he thought it would help me to read it again. He was right! Pres. Uchtdorf reminds us to simplify and seek the things that matter most.

Reading this talk again reinforced to me that for now, my kids are what matters most. My relationship with them, teaching them the gospel, strengthening their testimonies, and creating life-long memories for them is what matters most. When they are grown, they won't remember how clean the house was or how many cookies I made for them or if I made it to every field trip and class party. But they will remember the times I was there for them, the long talks, the hugs, the advice, and the love they felt.

"Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most."

Life is so busy and I feel like I'm running crazy most days, but I'm renewing my focus. I am going to slow down and always be aware of and focused on the things that matter most.

Eight is Great!!!

OK, so it's only been a month since Masen was baptized. I'm not too far behind, right? Masen's big day happened on New Year's Day. 1-1-11. He has been so excited for the last year to be baptized and he was so happy when he was finally able to actually do it!! He could hardly sleep the night before and could barely stand it on the actual day because he had to wait until 5:00 p.m.!!



Masen and Scott before the baptism.



Everyone that was able to come to the baptism. From the left- Jayden, Grandma Garmire, Grandpa Garmire, me, Scott, cousin TaeLor, Aunt Heidi, Uncle Kevin, and Braedy, Masen, and Kaylen are in the front.



The family! I love that Mase and Kaylen are hugging! Masen's baptism has made Kaylen really excited to turn eight!!



Masen after the big event! He has been asking for a suit for a while now. We got him one for his birthday and he was so excited! He has worn it every Sunday since his baptism!


We are so blessed to have Mase in our family. He is such a joy and so fun to have around. He is a great example to all of us in everything he does. He got a set of scriptures from my parents for his baptism and he hasn't missed a day of reading since then! He is so happy that he is finally a member of the church and I am so glad that he realizes how important it is! It was a great day and I'm thankful that some of our family was able to come. He was confirmed a member of the church and received the Holy Ghost the next day in Sacrament Meeting. Of course I didn't get any pics that day! We are so proud of Masen and his decision to be baptized!!

A post for Leah!

My sister-in-law, Leah lives in Henderson, NV. We don't get to see each other very often and she has been a little irritated with me as of late and my lack of posting. Well, here ya go, Leah! Pictures of the fam!! Can you believe it? I bet you never thought you'd see the day!! My good friend, Monica Hudson took family pictures for us and did a FABULOUS job! She makes us look good!!
















So, hopefully this is the start of something good! Maybe I can get back into the swing of things and post more than once every 4 months!! No promises.....

AWOL

That's what I'm gonna be this whole weekend!! I am leaving tonight and not coming back until Sunday (maybe)!

Ever since school started in August, I feel like I have been running myself ragged trying to do everything and be everything for everyone. And it feels like I'm chasing my own tail! I never really get anywhere and it's just never enough! The last month or so, I have had a few melt-downs. Sometimes it really gets to me that I can't do it all and especially that I can't be perfect in everything. (That's not so much to ask, is it?) I have just felt so very overwhelmed and being the mom has felt a lot more like work than I ever wanted it to. I love being the mom (for the most part) and I want it to be fun!

So, my solution is to get away for a while. I think when you remove yourself from the situation, it makes you realize how great you really have it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, like that. (And hopefully it will make the husband and kiddos realize how great they have it, too!) I'm not going anywhere special... just home to my mom and dad. You know, the place where I feel safe and accepted. (Maybe it is somewhere special after all.) I am going to do some Christmas shopping, go to the temple, and visit with my Grandma. I cannot tell you how excited I am to have a break and just be Brenda for a few days!

But you know what? I have a sneaking suspicion that by Sunday I will be 100% ready to be the mom again! (OK, maybe 99%.)

Resolve!

I have been absolutely awful about posting lately. I guess I went through a little bit of a blogging blah! Plus, my life has been so darn crazy lately, I sometimes don't know which way is up! I guess that's called having four kids?!?! I'm so busy but not really because of me- it's the kiddos that keep me running! But I'll tell ya- I wouldn't want to be doing anything else right now! I love being a mom and raising these kids! Even on the hard days.

Jayden, Braedy, and Masen are all taking piano lessons! FINALLY! I have wanted to get them started for a while but was just so nervous to try a teacher that I didn't know anything about. I took a chance and just called one and we love her! She is really great and the best part is she comes to our house! Which saves me a lot of time!!

Jayden is still busy with scouts and young men's. He is now a Star, working on his Life, which I'm told is the lever just below Eagle! He has really awesome leaders and I'm very thankful for that because I know nothing about scouts! He is loving it! He loves all the camping trips and outdoors stuff.

Brae is still rocking in gymnastics. She hurt her toe last week. I ended up taking her to the doctor the next day to make sure it wasn't broken... it wasn't, thank goodness. She just stubbed it really bad and got a big gash above the cuticle. The doctor said she will lose her toe nail for sure! :( It will take about a year for it to grow back! I'm just glad it wasn't anything more serious! She is loving middle school which is a huge relief for me. I was a little worried about her but she has transitioned great and made tons of new friends!

Mase is loving second grade. We just found out on Monday that he will be tested by the school psychologist for the gifted and talented program! He has already been given a test and he tested at or above the level for the program. I am a little nervous and pretty dang excited to see what the psychologist has to say about him. We will have a meeting with her after she tests Masen. He also cannot wait to be baptized! He turns 8 at the end of the year and he talks about it almost daily! It is so darn cute to see how excited he is to be a member of the church! He is such a cute kid!

Kaylen started pre-school a few weeks ago. 5 other mothers in my ward and I decided to do a rotating pre-school so I get to teach in my home every 6 weeks. I got to have my first turn last week and it was so fun! We have 3 girls and 3 boys so it works out pretty good. They are all such darling kiddos and it is really fun to see Kaylen interact with her peers. She tries to be so grown-up around her siblings so it's nice to see her act like a 3-year-old. It's also really nice to have a break twice a week. It's also a little weird. Sometimes I feel lost... I've been raising kids for 14 years so it's crazy to have time to myself. But it has been really nice.

Next post, there will be pictures and I am making a promise to myself to be better about posting. This is really the only journal/scrapbook I have right now so I need to be better about it! I keep waiting for life to slow down but it refuses to do so! It just keeps going faster and faster! Maybe I can find a way to add about 12 hours to each day....

What happened to the lazy days of summer?

I feel like this summer has flown by!! We have been so busy and so much has happened! And now I can't figure out why my pictures won't download! I'm so bad on the computer!

We spent 3 weeks in Utah... Mase did the BYU football camp and all the kids took swim lessons from their awesome Aunt Heidi and her family. We stayed in Provo with Troy and Lisa and their adorable kids. We got to watch Tae dance... ShE iS aMaZiNg!! And we got to see Zak play baseball. It was really fun!! I always enjoy spending time with Troy's family. The kids get along so great and I love Lisa and Troy!!

After that week, Scott had to come back home to work but the kids and I went up to my mom and dad's. We spent Father's Day with them and spent lots of time with my parents and Scott's parents. It was really relaxing and lots of fun. My parents took Brae and her two cousins Savanna and Emily to the Manti pageant. I tagged along since I was husbandless! It was the first time I had ever been and I loved it! It was so amazing and me so very grateful for the early Saints!

The next week we got to attend the wedding reception of our niece Kira and her husband Nick. It was really nice. Kaylen was a flower girl and got to wear a pink and green tutu. She loved it!! Scott flew back into town the next day and we took the kiddos to Lagoon twice in the next 3 days. It was such a blast! Braedy and Masen love all the rides! Kaylen still isn't too sure about them but she still had a ton of fun. Jay doesn't care for rides so he stayed home with his fav cousin Thomas. They live in Canada so we don't get to see them very often.

It was such a fun trip and the kiddos had a great time with their grandparents and cousins but I'll tell you what- I was so ready to come home! I am a tiny bit of a control freak and I hate living out of a suitcase!! So it felt really good to get home but then we decided to move!! So we went from living out of suitcases to living out of boxes!! I finally got most everything put away yesterday. It feels like home!! We love it! We went from 1400 square feet to almost 2700!! It is so much better and the kids all have their own rooms which is so nice! The kids have been having a blast and I am enjoying the space.

Now, Scott has planned a trip to Hawaii for just the two of us! Can I tell you that this will be first trip for just Scott and I since we've had kids? I'm a little nervous and a lot excited! I've never been away from my kids for more than a night or two but it will be good for them and me! When we get back from that, it will about be time for the kids to go back to school! It's crazy that my last post was about school ending and now they are going back! I'm not quite ready for it and neither are they but I guess that's how it goes, right?

It's been a fun, crazy summer! It's gone by way too fast! And I really hope that time slows down soon because life is passing me by and I don't like it much! Here's to the rest of the summer!!

Schools out for Summer!!!

Well, technically not until tomorrow but I thought I better post before life gets cRazY!! Brae graduates from 5th grade tomorrow! When did graduating from elementary school become such a big to-do? It wasn't a big deal when I moved from 6th grade to junior high but both Jay and Brae have had big programs! It's a lot of fun but seriously, it's elementary!!!

The kids are stoked (is that word even cool anymore?) about summer! I'm sure they have visions of zoning out and playing on electronic devices all day long everyday, not even using their brains. At all. I sure hope they aren't completely devastated when I inform them of my visions. Chores, math facts, reading, writing, OUTDOOR activities.

Here's a question... When did being a kid change so drastically? I remember leaving my house each morning of my summer vacation and only coming home to feed my face. Now, I watch my kids spend their summers on the couch in front of the TV or computer screen. I feel like my kids are missing out on life! That's why this summer is going to be different! Even if I have to force them to enjoy sunshine and nature!!

I'm ready for the lazy days of summer... sleeping in, nowhere to go, vacations, popsicles, swimming, sunshine, camping. But the best part is just a change in the scenery of Life!

(And come August, I'll be ready for the scenery to change back!)